I am a person who loves to write, and for some reason I have not been doing it. I know why to be honest...
Lately I've started to be on track again so I am not ashamed to talk about what's going on. What is the point to talk about failures? Talk about how I gained so much weight that I've seen 3 digits on my scale for the first time in my life. When I started this blog I was with 87 kg (191.8 lbs - 13.7 stones). To think I went up to 100kg (220 lbs, 15.7 stones), then I was able for a bit to go back to the 2 digits but be always on the verge to see the bloody 100 again... GOD NO!
Did a bit of food control for a while, and worked, so I was finally with 97kg , starting to breathe. And then what happened? back to 99.8! NO NO NO! And when I panic what happen to me? I eat. I stress eat a lot and that's the main reason I gained weight. So yeah, saw the 100 for a second time. 101 to be honest.
So yeah I decided is time. Back to my exercising, to food control, to organize my life. For the last 30 days I challenged myself to do a daily workout, initially 30min a day, now I am up to 40min. And God bless I saw the first results. 3.7kg lost (8.15 lbs - 0.58 stones).
The difference this time is that I am not dieting, I am controlling my food. Diet in my concept is when you count the calories, just eat a restrict food from a program - dukan, atkins, paleo, keto, whatever - and NO ALCOHOL! I don't want to do that because is not realistic for me. I am a wife, for a start, I don't cook only to myself. Second, I love when my husband is off and he cooks Italian recipes, we have a bottle of wine and laugh about life. I also think that I work hard everyday and sometimes I want a pint in the end of my shift, well deserved. I don't do it everyday, but I do permit myself to a drink a week after work with friends. So yeah. I need to control my eating to suit my needs, not the other way. So if I am having pasta and wine at night, I do a low carb during this day to not feel guilty when I suppose to be having fun with my husband.
I am the kind that start to be paranoid very easily, if I am counting calories and eat a chewy I will be upset with myself the whole day. Even now that I am not that restrictive with myself I do feel upset when I know I've done something wrong. Like the other day after drinking instead of eat my salad I munched a bunch of croissants with dip sauce. If was 2 or 3 I wouldn't be so hard on myself, but I ate the whole package. Results, no weight loss, all my week effort down in one meal.
As I said I work my day around it. To have no guilt. I want the burgers, the pints, the pasta, even fries to be part of my life because no one lives just dieting. As long as I don't lose control to when I should have those fatty delicious meals, everything will be ok.
Basically that's it. Me, trying again. Ashamed of let myself be so heavy again, but at least trying to do something about it. And I am happy that I am doing. The quality of my life really change in this past month. My self care, my attention to what I eat - for a long time I forgot about fruits, and had no salad on my plates - and just stop having frizzy drinks to having water changed a lot.
I do have half a glass of coca-cola here and there, but not everyday. The biggest change is because the food is lighter so I don't need the coke to help me wash down the food. So I am fine with water.
The plan now, after finishing this 30 days challenge is keep with the healthy food for most of the time, drink 2lt of water a day, exercise 40min everyday (walks, xbox - one of my 10 workout games, video workouts on youtube, dance classes, gym, anything that make me move). To be honest I like to do it at home. No excuses with distance, weather or whatever, but that is a subject for another post. I think I already wrote down a lot... that's the thing about not write for a while, the mind is too full!
See you latter!
